After Big D’s review of AVPR, we had a long talk about Aliens vs Predator. This lead to a huge disagreement on the most important topic: Who would win? Big D thinks that the Aliens win, I think that the Predator wins. Therefore, I decided to look into this scientifically: by searching the Internet and collecting data! After countless video games, comic books and two crappy movies, I still did not find an answer that I was satisfied with. So, I am providing a detailed scientific analysis of who would win.
Please note: Since we are conducting a scientifical experiment, we need to get rid of all potential contaminants. This means getting rid of all the humans! The humans just get in the way. (Just ask anyone who’s seen any of the AVp movies,) Humans are an unnecessary distraction that slow down both the Alien and the Predator. So, in order to be fair, this analysis assumes that no humans are present. It’s simply alien vs Predator, mano-a-mano in a kick-ass bloodbath. This also means that they are on a level playing field. So there are no weird alien planets where one race has the advantage, or super weapons that can be used to cheat.
Race Analysis
Aliens
According to Wikipedia: “Aliens are not an intelligent civilization but predatory creatures with no higher goals than the reproduction of their species and the destruction of life that could pose a threat.” Aliens have a super tough over shell,
their blood is acid, and they seem to have incredible strength despite having no muscle structure. Aliens are very aggressive, and they use teamwork to kill their prey. In other words, Aliens are badasses that use the cover of darkness to terrorize and kill their prey.
Predators
The Predators are a kick-ass alien race that specialize in killing other aliens. The Predators actually go to other planets to kill its inhabitants. They’re killing machines that kill for fun. And they are willing to come to any alien’s home planet to kick its ass. They also have cool weapons like a razor discs and shoulder-mounted plasma guns. Oh, and I forgot to mention that the Predators have nuclear weapons and a self-destruct mechanism.
The Winner is:
Predators: great hunters,bad-ass equipments, and a self-destruct button.
Killing Style Analysis
Aliens
An alien embryo forcibly impregnates a living host and then bursts violently from its chest. Ouchie.
Predators
They hunt you. They kill you. And then collect your head as a trophy.
The winner is:
Aliens. Nothing can be worst than having an Alien burst out violently from your chest as you watch your own blood spray everywhere
Hunting style:
Aliens
They hunt in packs, hunting their prey like wild wolves. (cheaters)
Predators
They usually hunt alone. Oh, did I mention that they hunt for sport?
The winner is:
Predators. They hunt for sport. ( I think that I already mentioned that they hunt for sport )
Their first encounter with humans
Aliens
The Alien was killed by a chick
Predator
The great Arnold Schwarzenegger (in his prime) almost lost his life trying to save the earth from the Predator
My Detailed Analysis:
All the experts online seem to agree: aliens kill to survive. predators survive to kill. Here is a detailed analysis of all the possible situations:
- Predator without equiment vs Aliens: Predator
- Predator with equipment vs Aliens: Predator
- Predator vs predalien: Predator
- Predator vs Alien queen: Predator
- Predator vs the entire alien nest: Maybe Aliens… But score ends up like 320 dead Aliens to 1 dead Predator.
Conclusion
The Predator wins, hands down.
Other interesting quotes I found on the web
“
With a gun………..Predator,,, Without a gun………………… Predator
” - tzweck
“
The Predator wins this one. If it is a one on one match with an alien, the predator
obviously wins. If it is many on many, the Predators win. Even if it is one Predator vs lots of Aliens
the Predator still wins because he would kill so many of the aliens before they killed him that in the
end the score would be something like: Predator:248, Aliens:1.
” - scifi guy
“
The comparison I see is this. The aliens are a huge army of stealthy infantry, whereas the predators are
like special ops (Delta Force, Navy Seals) - they’ve got the toys and know-how to get the job done and
that’s why there’s only a few of them hunting at a time. You can call it a numbers game, but in all
honesty, if it had been Predators instead of space marines in Aliens (Alien 2) then those Aliens would’ve
died a lot quicker.
” -fikester06
“
Predators may have a tough exterior but they are still cowards. They can’t be fair and stay visible to
fight. They have to cloak themselves and hide. If they didn’t, the alien would win everytime.
” -
FrankNavesHoot
“
AVP is like the USA vs China. China has numbers and the US has the guns..but in the end.. we all die.
” -mafioso24
(PS: all images used in this post are copyrighted by their owners. Don’t sue me, bitches.)
Reader Comments:
Big D on January 10th, 2008 at 1:20 am
big M on January 10th, 2008 at 6:29 pm
Big D on January 11th, 2008 at 1:32 pm
big M on January 11th, 2008 at 4:17 pm
wendel on March 10th, 2008 at 3:48 pm
Sylenall on May 6th, 2008 at 4:39 am
Big D on May 8th, 2008 at 12:32 pm
the real iron-man on October 16th, 2008 at 8:24 am
rishi on November 8th, 2008 at 10:52 am
9 Responses
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All-righty then. For a detailed analysis, you seem to have left out some important details. If I remember correctly, our conversation included one point that seems mysteriously absent from your discussion:
- Arnold kicks Predator’s ass in Predator I
- An alien would almost certainly finish off Arnold in less time than it takes to mutter “scooby-snack”
- TPE (or something scientific like that): Alien stomps loser-Predator.
Of course, you’ve got lots of fancy quotes from a bunch of ignorant doofus’ who WANT to believe that the Predator should kick some *ss. But let’s be honest, every time aliens meet predators in the movies, they pulverize them. In AVP, the aliens make quick work of the 2 younger predators. The only thing that saves the older goofus Predator is the human (who “only gets in the way of the Predators”). In AVPR (also known as “The worst movie since the Mist”) a single alien kills the crew of the Predator ship, then forces it to crash on earth. Mighty Predators? I think not.
And if we take away all “cheating super-weapons” let’s bring out a naked Predator and an Alien. I’ve seen what happens in the comic books. It’s quick. Can you mutter Scooby-snack?
Dude. your theory doesn’t hold. Arnold may have beaten the Predator in Predator 1, but Sigourney Weaver beat the Alien in Alien 1. So according to your logic, the only to find out the winner would be to have Arnold fight Sigourney Weaver. Now remember that Arnold was an Elite soldier in his movie while Sigourney was just running around screaming in her movie. I can bet you any amount of money that Arnold wins. Therefore the Predator wins.
The AVP movies had to make the Predators look weak. Otherwise, the movie would go like this:
- opening credits,
- five minutes in which the Predator kicks Alien ass,
- the closing credits.
They needed to have a “twist” for people to watch the movie. That’s why their stupid twist was to have the predator lose.
As for your Naked Predator theory, the Predator still wins . Predators are intelligent killers who plan their attack and then kill you. Alien are just mindless killers who run around in circles. The Predator would kill the Alien and then drink its acid blood and laugh.
‘Nuff Said
Predators are big, dumb oafs (very similar to the Dallas cowboys) while Aliens are sneaky little bastards (sort of like the Indianapolis Colts).
Take your pick.
:p
You’re just mad because you know that Arnold would kick Sigourney Weaver’s ass.
Here’s a quick detailed analysis:
- Without any weapons -> Arnold Woops ass!
- With weapons -> Arnold Woops ass!
- In the Jungle ( since this is where Predator 1 occurs ) -> Arnold Woops ass!
- In A Spaceship ( since this is where Alien 1 occurs ) -> Sigourney Weaver wins by cheating. She shoots Arnold out of the air lock.
big M you are very good at arguing
and I agree with you, predator kicks alien’s ass in almost all situations.
I’m a big predator fan!
My god, are you serious a naked pred… winning against an alien?
Aliens are the ultimate biological weapon, strength, speed, stealth and a whole lot of pointy edges, not to mention the deterent of acid blood. WTF are you expecting the Pred to do, pull out one of those cliche, “OMG I Twist your neck and you die now”s?
Now if you did anywhere near the research you say you did you would have come to the conclusion that aliens are NOT stupid and single-minded. Remember Giger’s alien? did it seem retarted and overly-agressive to you?, no it took it’s time, used the enviroment to its advantage and stalked it’s prey with the utmost effieciancy.
Also did you honestly expect a Predators cloak to make even the slightest difference on a creature that HAS NO EYES? It sees by pheremones, that crap only works on us. You also seem to forget the ultimate alien, the queen, she is the mind of any hive, she directs the drones however she sees fit, and she is INTELLIGENT as well as deadly.
One of the Cannon novels in the Alien series(EarthHive) states that the only Queen ever captured by Human hands in battle(a fight that destroyed most of an entire city) was IQ tested, what did they find? an IQ of 178.
Now a Pred, more so a veteran pred winning against small to medium sized groups of aliens I can live with, but to say one would kill HUNDREDS is pure folly and exaggeration.
Now for the Real fight Pred vs Queen, the winner is obviously the Queen, As I have previously mentioned she is SMART, she would know that to win she would have to close fast and hard where her overwhelming strength and natural melee weapons are at the advantage, I dont give a FUCK what kind of whacky space kung-foo a pred might know there is not a whisper of a prayer that he would be able to defeat a T-rex sized Alien in hand to hand combat(even with a spear or whatever else) The queen is the epitome of badassery, and it would take a PACK of preds to take her down.
Hell in ORIGINAL AVP Darkhorse comic(which I own, its bloody FANTASTIC btw, totally what any AVP movie should have been), The queen ends up fighting both the human hero character and the Eldest(most badass) Pred at the same time, the first AVP movie’s Scar and lead female were based on these darkhorse characters watered down as they may be.
What happened? The Queen destroyed him, it ended up giving him a mortal wound after taking afew blows itself and the only reason it died was because of the interferance of the Human female(Noriko in that comic/graphic novel). They set the Hive to blow and were to preparing to blast out with an escape pod when the queen stuck its head through the hatch to bite the already dieing predator a little more, Noriko shut the hatch and therby cut off the queens head.
And thats All I have to say for now, 248 to one my ass.
Listen to Sylenall. He knows what’s up. Predators are big dumb plumbers with some fancy hardware (that screams “over-compensation”). Aliens are sleek killing machines.
“I dont give a FUCK what kind of whacky space kung-foo a pred might know there is not a whisper of a prayer that he would be able to defeat a T-rex sized Alien in hand to hand combat” - Classic.
The predator hunts alone. Aliens hunt in packs. Aliens would win for sure, but predator would give one hell of a fight.
You are clearly mistaken my misguided friend.
You say that sigourney was able to defeat the alien in ALIEN and so you awarded a point to the predator because the governor(being much stronger and manly) had a much harder time killing it but you completely forgot the fact that sigourney never actually kills it.
Fuck she wouldn’t dare go 10 feet near the thing.
By gods grace she blasts it off into outer space and that was the basis of the movie….
They could never kill that thing…they could run,hide or blast it off.They stood no chance facing it
Now could arnie have done anything on board the nostromo?
I doubt.
The xenomorph according to ash is a
Perfect organism. Its structural perfection is matched only by its hostility.A survivor… unclouded by conscience, remorse, or delusions of morality.
NOW WHAT CAN MATCH UP TO THAT!